I didn’t plan for this piece to have so much texture, its fluid art after all. So what happened? some of my paint was not the right consistency, thick paint doesn’t flow and it cracks which is how it relieves the stress that the paint is under as its trying to move around the canvas, trying to even itself out before it dries. I never once thought about throwing it out, I wouldn’t call it damaged or a mistake. This piece has its own unique beauty because of the cracks and texture, its beautiful and amazing. What if I had thrown it out, what if I had painted over it, what if?
Earlier this week I was thinking about “mental illness” specifically diagnoses of detachment, dissociation, ptsd, and de-personalization. These are ways that our brains cope with situations that could possibly destroy us otherwise, they relieve the stress. So why is it illness? I think the strength my mind has is beautiful and amazing, the ability to keep going under the most horrifying circumstances, to detach from emotion. What if this is a gift not an illness, what if we can learn to use these tools of the mind for wholeness, what if we could see the beauty in all things, what if we could see the beauty in all people, what if?